Cover Girl
by FeelsLikeConfettiFalling
Summary: Chloe never thought of herself as beautiful. Her entire life she drowned in self hate and always kept from everyone, fearing her dark past would come up again. But when she moves to California and starts a new life at the Palm Woods, a certain Kendall Knight believes he can turn her life around. But...can he handle the secrets that follow her?
1. Insecure

She walked up to the classroom door and stood there, frozen. Her hands shook at her sides as she stood there, otherwise unmoving. Scared, she was ridiculously scared. She had never made a major change like this before, moving to a completely different school in a completely different state to start a new life. She raised her hand to knock on the hard, wooden door, but couldn't bring herself to do it, and instead placed her hand against it and closed her eyes. What if they didn't like her? What if they didn't talk to her, or if they all just hated her the second they saw her? She couldn't blame them, she would hate herself if she were them, too. She already hated herself, more than anything, and all she wanted was to walk away from that classroom door and never come back ever again, to never ever look them in the face. But she had to, she knew she had to, and it killed her that she had to step inside that classroom.

She had heard stories about the Palm Woods, that it was a great place to live and that everyone there was mostly friendly, but she still didn't like it. She still absolutely did not want to go in there, even if it was life or death. She moved to start a new life, and she knew she would just screw everything up like she did the last time. She pulled her sleeves down over her palms and bit her lip. What if they didn't like her because of the way she looked? She placed a hand over her stomach and held back tears. She hated the way she looked, so why should anyone else like her? Her entire life, nobody ever paid her any attention, and she basically gave up all hope of ever feeling happy ever again. She knew quite a few people that lived at the Palm Woods-not personally, but she knew of them, and if they didn't like her...nobody would.

But, despite all of her thoughts going against the action, she slowly raised her hand and, after taking a deep breath, knocked on the door, and gritted her teeth as she waited for a response.

The door opened and a tall, blonde, smiling woman opened the door. "You must be Chloe! I'm Ms. Collins." She exclaimed. She extended her hand to the younger girl and Chloe gently shook it, avoiding eye contact with everyone in the room, her palms sweating with embarrassment as the teacher pulled her to the front of the room, introducing her to everyone.

Chloe closed her eyes as tight as she could until she was standing up there in front of everyone. She then opened her eyes and peered out over the room of watching eyes, all waiting for her or Ms. Collins to say something. _Great,_ she thought, _haven't even been in here three seconds and they already hate me._

"Guys this is Chloe Midler, she's from Pennsylvania." Ms. Collins said. "She's new here, guys. Try to make her feel welcome, ok?"

"Woah." James said. "She's pretty. Like, _really_ pretty."

Kendall watched as the new girl walked nervously up to the front of the classroom, and a small grin spread across his face. James was right, she really _was_ beautiful. She had long, so blonde it was almost white, hair that rested perfectly on her shoulders, the most beautiful blue eyes he had ever seen, and her skin, or what he could see of it, was free of just about any blemish. He also noticed her weight-she was incredibly skinny, almost _too_ skinny, and it almost looked a little unhealthy.

"Kendall? Keeeennndaaallll?" Carlos said, waving a hand in front of Kendall's face. James and Logasn laughed as Carlos snapped his fingers in front of his face. "She is very beautiful, Kendall, but you can step off cloud 9 for a bit."

Kendall shook his head and glanced at the guys. "Ok, first thing, I was NOT on cloud 9!" He said, shaking his head. "Second thing, I was just looking at her. There's something different about her, something I can't quite put my finger on."

"You should talk to her." Logan said. "Before one of these two go after her first." He pointed to James and Carlos. "But remember, you agreed to let the girl pick who she wants, not an outrageous fight like the last few times."

"I know what you're talking about, Kendall, there is something different about her." James, trying to get a better look at her without getting caught. Nobody else was paying attention to the girl anymore and had begun their own conversations. "But I do agree. She is pretty. She's just...extremely skinny…"

Chloe nervously pulled at her sleeves, her palms sweating as her breathing rapidly increased. Everyone was watching her, staring her down, judging her every move, soaking her image in and spitting it back out in a disgusting manner. She knew deep in her heart they already hated her.

When she looked out into the crowd of students, she did recognize a few people, some of which she had seen on TV or heard on the radio or from online, but there were four boys which she knew of all too well: the boys of the band Big Time Rush. Almost, just almost, did a smile twitch on her face when she saw their faces, for she did listen to their music quite a bit, but then she remembered that she was new there and they were big time superstars, and as they watched her, she became scared, so scared that she almost made herself sick, because they were probably thinking she was ugly, fat, stupid, disgusting, what everyone else she had ever known had always called her.

"Chloe, you can sit right over there next to Kendall Knight." Ms. Collins said. She pointed to a desk next to the blonde haired boy and CHloe just stood there, nervously. "Can you tell us anything about yourself, Chloe? About what it's like where you're from, what you like to do, why you're here?"

She was making it sound like Chloe was entering some mental facility. But Chloe refused to say a word, and just gently shook her head 'no' as she now furiously pulled on her sleeves. Ms. Collins let her move towards her sit and she quietly sat down, avoiding eye contact with everyone. But Kendall watched her, with interest, and there was something about her that made him not want to talk his eyes off her. It wasn't just the fact that she was beautiful, there was definitely something else. He just didn't know what, and the other guys thought the same thing too.

She glanced over at him, and when she noticed him watching, she turned her head and hid her eyes from his view. She bit her lip so furiously it almost bled. Watching, everyone was watching, probably thinking what a freak she was, and she just wanted the day to be over with already. She already didn't want to be there, criticism was the last thing she needed and wanted. "I just wanna go home." She whispered to herself. Not back to her new apartment, or even back to Pennsylvania. She honestly didn't know where home was. Wherever it was, she hoped it was a lot better than what she was experiencing, because she just didn't want pain anymore.

"Hey." A voice broke her distant gaze and for once, she peered up in the direction of the voice speaking to her. She was afraid, afraid of what this person was going to say, and got even more anxious when she realized it was none other than Kendall Knight speaking to her.

She couldn't say anything, and didn't even want to. She just looked around the room, as if he wasn't speaking to her. "Chloe?" She turned to him, her eyes wide. He really was speaking to her. Why, why would he? She didn't want to open up her mouth and ruin everything again, like she did at her old school. She just merely parted her lips slightly as if she was going to say something but didn't. She hugged her arms closer to her, as tight as she could get them, and kept glancing at him with nervous eyes.

"Aw, you're quiet. New school, kinda nervous?" Kendall asked. He leaned closer to her and rested his head against his palm. She looked around. Why was he speaking to her?

"Yeah." First word she ever spoke to anyone in the room. Nobody else was really paying attention to her except Kendall, and the other BTR guys who were watching the conversation unfold.

Kendall noticed her pulling on her sleeves, and from what Logan had always talked about, it was a sign of anxiety. He just brushed it off as something normal from being new around that place and flipped his hair aside. "I'm always here if you wanna talk. And this is James, Carlos, and Logan." The other guys waved at her, but she made no reaction. She tried to say something, but didn't. She couldn't. And truthfully, she didn't even want to. She just turned from them and faced the front of the room, hugging her arms close to her.

Chloe's mind was elsewhere the entire day. She didn't think about anyone else, not even the four boys sitting next to her. All she could think about was getting out of there, and getting out of there fast. Her anxiety was eating at her like a ravenous animal, and she just needed to get out. Throughout the day, she noticed people watching her, whispering, and she could just make out some of the things they were saying.

" _She's so weird, look at the way she's acting."_

" _She won't stop fidgeting."_

" _Who wears long sleeves on a scorching hot day in L.A?"_

" _Damn, this girl is strange."_

Chloe began to shake. Not here, not now, she thought. She glanced up at the clock. Just a few more minutes. She began rocking in her seat, barely, but enough for Kendall to notice and watch her curiously. Chloe began biting her lip as sweat poured from her face. Her palms shook wildly, and as soon as that bell rang, she was the very first person out of the door.

As soon as she was gone, Kendall turned to the other guys. "What was that?" He asked, slinging his book bag over his shoulders. "She flew outta here like something was after her."

"Dunno." James said, flipping his hair to the side. "We're off today, which can only mean one thing. It's pool time, my friends."

The other three followed James excited out the classroom door, while Kendall stood there, puzzled. He scratched his head before shrugging his shoulders and following the other guys.

Chloe ran through the lobby so swiftly, nobody could catch who she was. She wasn't waiting for the elevator; she bolted up the steps with such a speed that an Olympic runner would be impressed. Up to apartment 2M she ran, where she unlocked the door and slammed it shut once she was inside, relocking it to make sure nobody would come in. Panicking, she ran to the bathroom, her entire body shaking. She began to see dark images before her eyes and started to hyperventilate. She ran into the bathroom and slammed the door shut. She rummaged through the cabinet until she found what she was looking for. She then ripped her shirt off, tossing it across the floor like it was nothing,

and

she

cut.


	2. A Walk To Remember

Stress can take either an extremely low or high toll on anyone, no matter age, gender, or personality. Chloe, unfortunately, fell victim to one of the outcomes of it. She stared over herself, at what she had just done. Blood flowed down her arms like a raging waterfall, over her white scars of the past and coming together in a small puddle at her feet. A tear fell from her face as she watched the scene unfold, the blood turning her pale skin dark red. She let the razor blade drop from her shaking fingers onto the stained carpet, and just stared at herself in silence. Her lip quivered as she allowed the blood to drain from herself. Not too deep, but not too shallow, just enough to leave a permanent scar. She held her arms out at her sides and deeply sighed. For once, for just once in her life, she just wished she could live a normal life, have friends, not be different, to just be _perfect._

"I'm different. Why do I gotta be different?" She sighed and ran a hand over her stomach. "Skinny. I need to be skinny."

Chloe saw herself as fat, disgusting, worthless, useless, invisible, the list just went on and on. But in reality, she was pretty much wasting away, her weight shedding off of her like hair on a cat. At times, her whole body ached, for a million and one different reasons. From excessive exercising, self inflicted wounds, the list was endless. Most of the time, she was just exhausted from straight up _living,_ and at that moment she was beginning to question why she had come to L.A. in the first place.

She reached down to the floor into one of the many boxes she didn't unpack yet and pulled out a picture. It was of her when she was younger. Her, her mother, her older brother, and her old cat. She touched the frame gently, letting her fingers run smoothly over the clear glass. She remembered being that little, when school and stress and unhappiness didn't matter. She looked around the room, at her brand new apartment, and realized she was all alone. She looked at the picture once more and a tear slipped down her face. Her face twisted into a heartbreaking frown and she tossed the picture back into the box and sprung up off her bed. "I gotta get out of here." She said. She grabbed a sweatshirt off a chair in her room and headed out the door. "Before I do something fucking stupid. Again."

* * *

"Man, I'm beat." Carlos said, flopping down on a couch in the studio. He spread out his arms and legs, stretching and yawning as he breathed a sigh of relief. "So glad we got the day off tomorrow. What should we do?"

"I'm going to be the responsible one and actually work on my schoolwork, like we all should be doing." Logan said. James laughed and put his arm around him.

"You need to take a break, you definitely work too much and worry about everything! It's the weekend, you need to chill." Kendall laughed as Logan rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Ok, but whenever you guys fail the year, don't come crawling back to me." Logan replied. "What are you planning to do, genius?"

"I am definitely overdue for some much needed pool time." James said, grinning. "The ladies haven't been seeing much of James lately."

"Speaking of ladies," Carlos said, turning to Kendall, "When are you gonna go talk to yours?"

Kendall groaned and rubbed his head. "We're not together and we won't be, I don't even know this girl. We talked for like a second but that's it. She didn't even wanna talk to me."

"Yeah but that girl, uh what's her name, Chloe? Yeah, she seemed to kinda take a slight interest in you." Logan said.

"Gee. Thanks." Kendall said. He sighed and rubbed his head. "And, no, she didn't. I tried talking to her because she looked anxious but she was avoiding me. But that doesn't bother me."

"The look in your eyes when you saw her says otherwise, buddy." James said. He slapped Kendall across the back and leaned against him. "Now if you really wanna get her, I can help you out cause, you know, I'm stunning to look at."

"Wow, there's really no hurting your confidence, is there?" Kendall said, rolling his eyes. He pushed James' arm off his shoulder and sighed. "Besides, she didn't seem like she wanted to talk to anyone. There was something on her mind, I could tell."

"Social anxiety, it's not uncommon for people who are new to a strange place. Ms. Collins said she was from Pennsylvania, that's all the way on the other side of the country. I mean, you guys saw how fidgety she was, pulling on her sleeves and everything. She definitely has some anxiety issues. Maybe talking to her will help her." Logan said.

"No, there's definitely something more than anxiety that's wrong with her." James said, seriousness flooding his face. "Did you see how skinny she was? I've never seen a girl that looked like that before. She was all skin and bones."

"He's right." Carlos said. He sat up and straightened his hockey helmet. "I noticed her body, too. She's beautiful and very skinny, but almost maybe too skinny. Maybe she's got like an eating disorder or something."

"That's none of my business." Kendall said. "And besides, even if you guys were right, there's no way she would talk to me. Clearly she doesn't want to talk to anyone. She wouldn't even talk when Ms. Collins was introducing her to the class. Now let's go, the car's out front to take us home."

Kendall deserted them and went out the door, the other guys just shrugging their shoulders and following him back to the Palm Woods.

* * *

Chloe walked through Palm Woods park with her hands stuck in her pockets. The wind blew furiously against her, and she silently thanked herself for bringing her sweatshirt. _You could never have too many layers._

She gazed up into the sky and let the wind beat against her face. She grinned and sighed peacefully. "It's gonna rain." She said to herself. She breathed in the L.A. air and smiled. "I love the rain."

Walking through the park definitely took Chloe's mind off of things. The air made her feel more relaxed, and she almost forgot about what she kept hidden under her sweatshirt. She hugged her arms closer to her chest the more she thought about it. She pulled down a part of her sleeve and observed some of the white lines that were etched into her wrist. She sighed and pulled her sleeve down far over her palm, gripping the cloth tightly. Maybe coming to this town was a bad idea, she thought. Maybe she really should've just stayed behind.

"Better head back to the Palm Woods." She said to herself. As the wind beat against her harder, she hid her face from the world and walked towards the large building, back to the safety of her new home. Her fresh cuts got snagged against her sweater as she walked, and she bit her tongue to bite back the screams of pain. As she passed by the pool area, she saw everyone happily getting out of the water to avoid the stormy weather. Girls in their bikinis and tiny bodies jumped out of the water and laughed as they wrung their hair out, smiling as guys handed them their towels and draped them across their shoulders. Some got hugs, some got kisses, but all Chloe got was a kick in the gut. It pained her to see things like that, because she knew she would never be pretty enough to live a life like that, for some guy to hold her and tell her she was beautiful. She looked at the other girls, then at her own body. She bit her lip and moved along, tears forming in her eyes. She knew she would never be as skinny as them, no matter how hard she tried. She ran through the pool area and into the lobby, avoiding unwanted stares and whispers.

"I can't wait to actually go to bed. I'm so beat." Carlos moaned. He leaned against Logan and yawned. "Can you carry me the rest of the way?"

"Carry yourself, Carlos, I'm not carrying you." Logan replied, pushing him away. But Carlos continued to beg.

"Come on, pleeeaaaase? I don't want to waaaaaaalk." Carlos whined. "I'm so tireeeedddd."

"Carlos, stop, I'm tired too." Logan said, pushing him away. He himself yawned and rubbed his eyes. "You'll be fine until we get upstairs."

"Guys, stop arguing. We'll be upstairs in a second." Kendall said. "I'm sure you guys can stop complaining for a minute."

"But Logan's being mean to me." Carlos complained. He smacked Logan's shoulder and Logan hit him back.

"Knock it off, guys!" Kendall said, walking backwards in the lobby so he could face them. "If you guys don't pay attention you're going to hit into somebod-"

Kendall was immediately knocked over by an unseen person. "Ow!" He screamed as he hit the floor. He rubbed his head and noticed it was a girl that ran into him. He pushed himself up off the floor and rushed over to her. "I'm sorry!" He said, extending his hand to help her up. "I wasn't looking where I was going."

"No, it's my fault I wasn't looking where I was going." She said, sounding like she was in some obvious pain. Kendall reached down to help her but stopped when he realized it was Chloe.

"Chloe, right?" He asked. She looked at him and instantly fell silent.

"Yeah. Sorry I hit you. My fault." She said, picking herself up off the floor. But Kendall grabbed her underneath her arms and helped pull her up. She hissed with pain, for underneath her sweatshirt where his fingers were, her cuts still ached.

"Oh man, I'm sorry. You must've hit the floor hard." Kendall said. "I was walking backwards, I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

"I was running. My fault, not yours." She said quietly, pushing her hair behind her ears and avoiding his gaze. She hugged her arms closer to her chest and stared at her feet. "Thanks for helping me up." She was so quiet, he could hardly hear her.

Kendall looked around for the guys but realized they were standing farther back, waving at him as he talked to her. Kendall rolled his eyes and turned back towards Chloe. Maybe the guys were right. Maybe if he tried to talk to her, it would make her feel better. After all, she was new there, and maybe all she needed was some friends.

"You're from Pennsylvania, huh?" He asked her, crossing his arms. This question seemed to take her by surprise, because she looked around the room before looking back at him.

"You, you're talking to me, right?" She asked, pointing to herself. Kendall laughed and nodded.

"Yes, I am. Didn't get to talk to you much during school today. Thought you'd maybe wanna talk now?"

"You thought wrong." She snapped back, quietly and quickly. She noticed a look of hurt on his face and she lowered her head. "Sorry." She said. "Just gotta get back to my apartment, hasn't really been a good day."

"It's ok, we all get days like that. We just got back from a horrifyingly long day at the studio and we're all a little irritated."

She forced back a smile and nodded. "Yeah, I know the feeling. And yes, I'm from Pennsylvania."

Chloe stopped for a moment and looked at Kendall; _really_ looked at Kendall. Her days before then, way back in Pennsylvania, she spent listening to their music and wishing she could go to their concerts, but never had the chance to. Now, there she was, standing right in front of him, going to the same school and living in the same building. It was then that she really noticed all of his features. His hair was a dirty blonde styled slightly upwards. His eyes were a beautiful shade of deep green that sparkled as he spoke to her. His smile curled perfectly in the corners of his mouth, showing his perfectly white teeth. He stood calmly and cooly, not impatiently, but intently, like he was actually listening to her and interested in what she had to say. She had never encountered a person who acted this way around her before.

"Sorry I bumped into you, K-Kendall." She said, stuttering. Talking to people scared her, especially when it was Kendall Knight, famous popstar from Big Time Rush. She wanted to get out of there. And fast. "Excuse me, but I really need to go."

"Hey," Kendall said, grabbing her shoulder and spinning her around. Chloe panicked and turned to stone. She looked at Kendall with wide eyes, and Kendall immediately stepped back. "I-I'm sorry. I, I didn't mean it." He said.

"I'll catch you later Kendall, I'm really late and gotta get back." Chloe said. She turned and swiftly headed towards the stairs, disappearing from view. Her hair flowed gracefully behind her as she ran, and when she disappeared, Kendall felt a strange emotion in his chest he couldn't quite pinpoint.

He turned back towards the other guys and shrugged, and then headed off in her direction, his feet picking up at a great speed. Chloe ran quickly up the stairwell, and she was almost on the second floor when Kendall caught up with her.

"Hey, wait up!" He said, breathing heavily. Chloe stopped and shook nervously as Kendall stopped to breathe. "Damn, you're fast."

"Why did you chase me?" Chloe asked. She pushed some hair behind her ears and started fidgeting with her sleeves. She too began to tire, for her small body couldn't handle the excessive running, but she wasn't going to show it. She didn't need anymore sympathy from him.

"I just wanted to talk to you before we all head off to bed, get to know you better. Is that ok? My apartment is right on this floor, we can just walk around a bit."

Chloe looked around nervously. She really didn't want to do that. Her cuts burned through her sweatshirt, and she bit her lip hard and looked at the ground as she furiously pulled at her sleeves.

"Come on." Kendall said, gently placing a hand on her shoulder. "I promise, I don't bite. And it won't be long. Let's go." He motioned up the stairs, and although Chloe was very much against it, she went with him. She walked slowly down the hallway with him walking next to her, wondering why on earth he would be talking to her when there were a million other pretty girls for him to have a conversation with and a comfy bed he could be sleeping in after his long day at work.

"Where's your apartment at?" He asked as they walked, sticking his hands in his pockets. Chloe hugged her arms close to her chest.

"That one." She pointed to 2M as they passed it. Kendall grinned and pointed to 2J just a few doors down.

"That's cool. Mine's right there." He said. "You're really going to like it here. Bitters may act like a dick sometimes, but you'll like it here. And you'll get used to the Palm Woods school. The kids will be good once you get to know them. So, what part of PA are you from?"

"Northern." She said. "It's pretty cold up there." It confused her. This whole thing confused her. Why was she talking to him? Why was she there? She hated talking to people. It sickened her. A lot. But she felt that if she just talked to him like he wanted to, then maybe he would leave her alone for a while. And maybe this would make the evening go quicker. Another plus, she thought, was that it was keeping her away from her own thoughts. But the burning question still lied within her: Why did he want to talk to her so badly?

"Yeah, I understand. I'm from Minnesota, so the weather gets pretty bad up there most days."

"Yeah, I know." She said, half smiling. "I heard it gets pretty bad up there, especially during the winter."

"Yeah, and then you come here and it's like woah, where'd the snow go, right?" Kendall laughed and pushed his hair back. "Sometimes I miss going sled riding or playing hockey on natural ice, or even having a good snowball fight every now and then."

"Yeah, I'm gonna miss that living here." Chloe said. "I mean, I've lived in Pennsylvania my whole life, so coming here is gonna be a big change."

"What made you decide to come here?" Kendall asked. "What are your plans? Are you a dancer, singer, actor, model?"

Chloe laughed. Not because the conversation was light and fun, but because of his expectations. "No, I dunno what I'm gonna do yet. I really just came here to start over, truthfully. Didn't really enjoy it back home, thought this would be a lot nicer."

"Yeah, I get it. I didn't know if I would like it here at first, because it wasn't my idea to originally come here in the first place. James was the one who wanted to audition for Gustavo, I wanted to be a hockey player. But Gustavo wanted me and I said I wouldn't come if he didn't take the guys. It's been a long journey but hey, here we are now."

"Yeah, I know." Chloe said, and she actually smiled. LIke, a real, honest, genuine smile. She even surprised herself as she felt the edges of her mouth curl up. Her face blushed an embarrassed red as she ducked her head away from him.

"Wait, you know? Are you a Rusher, Chloe?" Kendall asked, laughing. Chloe nervously laughed and tried to hide her smile from him.

"Kinda." She said. "I, uh, I listened to you guys a lot back home. I even brought my CDs with me here. Granted, they're somewhere buried deep in one of the many boxes I have not unpacked yet, but hey, they're there somewhere."

Kendall grinned from ear to ear. "That's pretty cool. You ever been to one of our concerts before?"

Chloe immediately frowned and stared straight forward. She bit her lip and shook her head. "No, no I haven't. I just...I never really got around to it. Had too many problems back home I guess."

"Well, if you ever want a private concert, you just let us know. We're always doing rehearsals and stuff, if you ever wanna come you're welcome to."

Chloe nervously smiled and tugged on her sleeves some more. "Thanks." She said quietly.

The two walked around for a little while longer, and after a while Chloe forgot that she even wanted to be home. The more Kendall spoke to her, the less and less nervous she felt, and towards the end of their walk, she hardly felt nervous at all. She was actually having a decent time talking to him. Her entire life, she never _ever_ had a conversation like that before.

"It's getting pretty late, I should probably be heading back." Chloe said. "I uh, I got a lot of stuff to do tomorrow, and I still got stuff to unpack."

"That's cool, same for me." Kendall said. He stopped in front of her apartment and smiled at her. "This was fun. And hey, me and the guys are off work tomorrow, so after school we're gonna hit the pool with some friends. You wanna come with?"

"Thanks, but…" Chloe swallowed hard and kept the tears from coming out of her eyes, and tried her best to keep herself from shaking. "Thanks, but...I don't swim. I'm sorry."

Kendall frowned and shrugged his shoulders. "It's ok, but if you wanna just come down and hang out you're welcome to. I'll see you tomorrow Chloe, goodnight."

She hurriedly entered her apartment and quickly locked the door behind her. She silently thanked God that she got away from him, because she felt like she was going to fall apart. That entire time, her feet would _not_ let her walk away from him, no matter how badly she wanted to run. She could feel him judging her, taking her in little by little, learning her weaknesses and plotting to use them against her. She kicked her shoes across the room, fell to the floor, covered her ears, and screamed. She had told herself she would never let anyone take advantage of her ever again, and she failed.


End file.
